Just Another Day

Real estate school started for my fiance on Monday. His first class was finance. When signing up for the classes, he had no idea that finance was suppose to be the last class that people normally take in order to succeed. Most people who take that class first apparently fail. He passed. His score wasn’t amazing but I’m beyond proud of him. School was never his thing, especially math and for it to be a course that is over in 2 days, he obtained more knowledge than I can even comprehend. One certificate down, 5 more to go and the classes should be easier from now on. He’s so motivated to do this and optimistic which is amazing because every other road we’ve gone down we’ve hit some of the lowest points possible. I only pray that this is the break that we need to get out of this hole that we’re in financially. I know it’ll take some time for any profit but we’ll make it work, we always do. The stress that comes along with this financial burden is killing me though plus my job.

I still have not received my week off in April and at this point I’m to the point where I’m pretty sure she’s not going to let me take any time off. We’re super short-handed and they have failed to hire anyone and don’t seem to care. It’s not fair to any of us especially when we’re not allowed to take a day off and if we have any appointments, we’re constantly having to change them because it doesn’t work with their schedule. Yet, my office manager just up and left for a week to go to San Diego. Must be nice, that’s all I have to say. Sure does pay to be the doctor’s wife… seems like even he’s getting tired of it.

It’s almost my baby boy’s birthday!! In a little less than 2 weeks he’ll be 2. I’m scared. He’s getting more and more wild the older he gets which I can only assume is completely normal. The tantrums…I want to scream!! The energy… ugh it makes me feel old and I’m only 27 :/ I don’t even want to know what 30 and 40 is going to be like. All I know is that my daughter was the complete opposite but she did cry, A LOT and still kinda does.

The joys of life… I think right now I’ll just sit down and relax for 2 minutes until one of them starts screaming. 🙂

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The Unknown

I’ve been thinking a lot lately. First, I need to continue blogging more. I feel like that will help me eliminate some of the stress that I seem to continuously deal with. But most importantly, I’m trying to understand what exactly this world has turned into. It’s been a long time since I posted and a lot has happened since then. I believe one of the last posts I wrote was about how we would be taking our daughter to Disney World for her birthday back in August. Well, days before we were about to go, my fiance lost his job. Not due to performance or anything that he did wrong but because someone decided that they didn’t like him. They told a lie that ended up getting him fired. This is not the first time it’s happened but apparently it happens a lot which makes me question many of these accusations by these women against male celebrities. This was the second time that he has been accused of inappropriate touching by a specific race who is not in this country legally. Both times, he was let go immediately without any questions asked to him or anyone. This was a woman who he constantly had issues with because she was always standing around texting and not doing her job from a temp agency. He requested to his manager that she not be allowed back there months before and specifically told the temp agency as well that he did not want her back in his kitchen. She found out and he got on to her one day about texting yet again and she threatened him that’s she’s a witch and not to mess with her. She left early that day. The next day that he was in, he was fired. I’m trying to understand why this is ok? Why is it that someone can accuse you of doing something that you didn’t do and you lose everything because of that? I’ll be honest when I say I make about $30,000 a year and I’m struggling to support our family right now without him working. The culinary industry this past year has been terrible and he has been unable to find a job. Normally, he gets calls instantaneously to set up an interview and he’ll walk out the same day with a job. He has had absolutely no luck and now he’s in the process of trying to change careers. He’s about to start classes to be a real estate agent. While that may seem like a complete gamble to some, he has full confidence that he will truly succeed and I support him 100%. He has taken out an ad to promote doing personal chef services that should be out within the next week and we’re trying with what money we have to promote on Facebook. It’s still just mind blowing to me that all this has had to happen in the first place. It’s crazy that you have a successful future ahead of you at a company that you love and it can be taken away from you in a heartbeat over someone’s lie. That woman has caused our family to suffer and stress for no reason.

At the same time, I’m struggling to deal with my job. While it’s stable, I’ve worked 3 years straight without any vacation. They literally don’t allow us to use our time off. Back in November, I requested a week off in April. My boss has been ignoring every reminder that I have given her about this and I’m to the point where I’m almost livid. 6 months in advance should be enough time to request off from work. I need a break desperately, everyone there does. Even when we’re sick, we’re expected to be there. I’m burnt out and I’m starting to really be intolerable of all the angry patients that we get just because they chose not to take care of their teeth. It suddenly becomes our fault that they’re hurting and that we can’t get them in sooner. I simply don’t care anymore. I’m tired of being yelled out on what seems to be a daily basis for stuff I have no control over. Doesn’t matter though, unfortunately I have to suck it up right?

I just need time to breathe, I need things to be ok. I’m the type of person that everything gets to me even when it shouldn’t and I bottle it up to the point where I have a complete breakdown. That’s been happening…a lot.

Two days ago I got some Chinese food and while I normally don’t buy into the fortune cookies, I received one that said “Remember three months from this date. Good things are in store for you.” I can’t help but feel optimistic about this. So June 1st, I’m counting down the days!

Much Needed Weekend

This weekend was literally one of the best weekends I’ve had in my entire life, yesterday in particular. Such a simple day but it made a huge impact and it was much needed. Got to enjoy a kid free weekend with a “date day” which we rarely have. So relaxing and I felt like it truly helped us reconnect and brought out the true love that we share for each other after everything that had happened. It had been so long since since I’ve felt that love and I never want to lose that. It was genuinely the perfect day.

Now the kids are back and I’m wishing I had a week straight to just have time for myself. They have been driving me insane haha. Not even a year and a half and my little boy is trying to jump off of chairs, couches, whatever he can find. I can’t sit down for more than a couple seconds before he’s into the next destructive, dangerous activity. Polar opposite of my daughter. It’s taking me way longer to write all this than I should :/

Aaralyn’s pageant is this weekend. Thank goodness for a short week because of that. I’m just not looking forward to driving to Dallas Friday morning and needing to be there at 8:30 just to check in. It’s not really that long of a drive, only like 30 minutes but that’s just too early for anything for me when it doesn’t involve work. It’s going to be a long day.

I’ll probably post sometime next Sunday about the results and how everything went but until then, have a great week everyone!

Lies.

There is one thing that has truly ceased to amaze me lately and I can’t even begin to understand why it’s become more acceptable with people. Lying. Not just lying but pathological lying seems to be the new trend. What has our world come to is what I don’t understand. I feel like I can’t trust anyone which makes finding friends that I can genuinely talk to the hardest thing. Someone lies to you, you put your trust into someone else to give you the truth and they lie to you as well. At that point, who can you trust? It’s everyone I seem to meet too. I’m absolutely dumbfounded by this logic. I’m the most honest person that anyone will ever meet and if I try to even attempt to lie, everyone knows instantaneously. It kills me inside when people lie to me. Even simple things and the fact that people will lie to other people that they’ve just met to make themselves appear more successful than they truly are, I simply don’t understand. Why? That’s all I ever ask myself. Most people don’t have much reasoning behind it either. Well, they’re probably lying about that too. I miss the 90’s when people really seemed to care about each other, where people were actually friends and life was easier. Lying didn’t seem to be so rampant back then. I mean, I was a kid then but my god, kids then have it so much easier than they do now. Life was simpler. Now kids act like they’re 10 years older than they really are and they seem to lack any common sense or logic towards the simplest things. I feel like the world started to drastically change as soon as I graduated high school and everyone suddenly had a negative personality towards others. Maybe I’m just crazy but I’ve been having a hard time understanding humanity lately.

That’s my thought of the day. Happy 4th everyone!!

A Bumpy Road

I cannot even begin to express the hell that I have gone through the past few weeks and I’m just now to a point where I’m somewhat settled and have really comprehended everything that has happened. Colorado fell through for a start and so did getting a rental house after applications were submitted and we were in the process of moving forward. My fiance walked out on us the night before we were suppose to move out of that house because of a fight due to the whole process. I thought that was the end and I had no choice but to find a place quickly. I’m now currently living in a 2 bedroom apartment with the two kids and my mom. Farthest thing from my ideal situation of getting a 4 bedroom house to rent. 3 days later, he wanted to come back and make things work. I agreed and he has since joined us in this apartment. Less than a week later I find out that he had been occasionally cheating on me for the past 6 months with an older woman who has 3 kids. 40 compared to me being 26. Bleh. Like for real? Thank god that wasn’t something that completely killed my self esteem. More of a laughing matter when I really think about it because that was a complete downgrade. Since that day, we have been trying to continue to work things out and my reasoning behind that is beyond words. I can’t even begin to express why I have made that decision because forgiving someone that would ever do that to me is that last possible thing I could ever imagine myself doing. It’s been rough but at the same time I feel like this has helped us be more open with each other and honest it’s just going to take some time to regain the trust. I won’t continue on about it. I feel like I shouldn’t even be sharing something so personal like that but part of me feels like I need to just vent and put these thoughts somewhere other than my mind.

My daughter’s pageant is coming up in literally 2 weeks and I’m not sure whether I should be nervous or excited. I want everything to go well after all the money that I’ve invested in this. It has made me completely broke and there’s still more to be paid on pageant day. I got her dress last week after having to get it altered because it was super long and it looks absolutely perfect now and I can’t wait to see her on stage with it. Just need to figure out what to do with her hair! I’m terrible when it comes to that but I don’t think I’ll have time to get it done between the mandatory rehearsals that day. It’s the little things that stress me out and I’ve seriously got to learn how to relax sometimes lol.

Other than that, my mom has purchased tickets for us to fly out to Disney World the weekend of my daughter’s 6th birthday. We’ll only be able to spend one day there unfortunately before having to fly back home at 6:00AM the next morning but it’s going to be a huge surprise for her. We aren’t planning on telling her until we get there. I’m just hoping that getting on a plane won’t ruin that secret haha. This will be her first flight as well as her daddy’s who is absolutely panicking by the way whereas I’m having flight withdraws because it’s been 8 years since I’ve last been on one and I’m seriously craving getting on a plane. Is that weird?  This is the first vacation we’ve somewhat ever had as a family. I feel like a weekend trip to Galveston and spending one day in Colorado for a job interview last year doesn’t really count as a vacation. That’s all we’ve done the past 8 years we’ve been together. I know this isn’t much better since it’s still only one day but it’s something and I’m thankful to be able to do this for my daughter.

I think that’s about all that I’ve got going on for the moment. I’m hoping that next week will be better. People have been terrible these past few weeks on top of everything else that has been going on in my life. I’ve had too many breakdowns at work because people have been insanely rude which is mixing with my already sensitive emotions. I just can’t deal with it anymore. I’m beyond frustrated with people right now. I’m not welcoming negativity in my life. I’m past the point of continuing to do that.

It’s official

The house is sold. We have until Monday to be moved out completely before we have to start paying the new owners rent. We were able to check out one rental house after I got off work today and it definitely wasn’t as impressive as the pictures portrayed it. It was small and appeared to have lots of damages that you can clearly tell were poorly covered up. We have a few lined up for tomorrow that should be bigger that are the same price so I’m hoping for the best not that this is the option that I wanted to choose. Either way, because its the weekend we wouldn’t have any luck getting into a place so quickly anyway. My weekend will be spent packing most things up and hauling it all off to a storage unit. What fun!!

My fiance did follow up with the woman he did the skype interview with and she said that he should be contacted by the Executive Chef of the resort very soon. The suspense is absolutely killing me! I hope Monday brings some good news. Just need to get through this chaotic weekend first.

Less than 2 days

I woke up this morning to the realization that today is Wednesday and that we have 2 days until closing. The interview on Monday supposedly went well via Skype and his resume is being passed on so he can be interviewed by the person who will make the final decision. The woman he talked to told him that she believes he would be a great fit for the Sous Chef position there but may also be qualified for the Chef de Cuisine. I can’t even begin to explain how much we both want this because the opportunities with this company are beyond amazing. Unfortunately he hasn’t heard back yet from that guy and the woman did not mention when he was suppose to be contacting him so the stress has set in because of the closing date. He also received a message later that night from an Executive Chef from a place he interviewed with over a year ago asking if he could talk to him. My fiance responded to talk to him yesterday but he never got a call. I’m literally at a point where I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling really optimistic that something good is in store but when we’re about to be kicked out of the house, the timeline of all this couldn’t come at a worse time. I pray today will be the day that he gets the call. The last thing I want to do is get into a rental and then he gets the job in Colorado. Maybe I’m being too optimistic but I’m truly hoping for the best for our family. After all these years, he definitely deserves this.