Just Another Day

Real estate school started for my fiance on Monday. His first class was finance. When signing up for the classes, he had no idea that finance was suppose to be the last class that people normally take in order to succeed. Most people who take that class first apparently fail. He passed. His score wasn’t amazing but I’m beyond proud of him. School was never his thing, especially math and for it to be a course that is over in 2 days, he obtained more knowledge than I can even comprehend. One certificate down, 5 more to go and the classes should be easier from now on. He’s so motivated to do this and optimistic which is amazing because every other road we’ve gone down we’ve hit some of the lowest points possible. I only pray that this is the break that we need to get out of this hole that we’re in financially. I know it’ll take some time for any profit but we’ll make it work, we always do. The stress that comes along with this financial burden is killing me though plus my job.

I still have not received my week off in April and at this point I’m to the point where I’m pretty sure she’s not going to let me take any time off. We’re super short-handed and they have failed to hire anyone and don’t seem to care. It’s not fair to any of us especially when we’re not allowed to take a day off and if we have any appointments, we’re constantly having to change them because it doesn’t work with their schedule. Yet, my office manager just up and left for a week to go to San Diego. Must be nice, that’s all I have to say. Sure does pay to be the doctor’s wife… seems like even he’s getting tired of it.

It’s almost my baby boy’s birthday!! In a little less than 2 weeks he’ll be 2. I’m scared. He’s getting more and more wild the older he gets which I can only assume is completely normal. The tantrums…I want to scream!! The energy… ugh it makes me feel old and I’m only 27 :/ I don’t even want to know what 30 and 40 is going to be like. All I know is that my daughter was the complete opposite but she did cry, A LOT and still kinda does.

The joys of life… I think right now I’ll just sit down and relax for 2 minutes until one of them starts screaming. ๐Ÿ™‚

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The Unknown

I’ve been thinking a lot lately. First, I need to continue blogging more. I feel like that will help me eliminate some of the stress that I seem to continuously deal with. But most importantly, I’m trying to understand what exactly this world has turned into. It’s been a long time since I posted and a lot has happened since then. I believe one of the last posts I wrote was about how we would be taking our daughter to Disney World for her birthday back in August. Well, days before we were about to go, my fiance lost his job. Not due to performance or anything that he did wrong but because someone decided that they didn’t like him. They told a lie that ended up getting him fired. This is not the first time it’s happened but apparently it happens a lot which makes me question many of these accusations by these women against male celebrities. This was the second time that he has been accused of inappropriate touching by a specific race who is not in this country legally. Both times, he was let go immediately without any questions asked to him or anyone. This was a woman who he constantly had issues with because she was always standing around texting and not doing her job from a temp agency. He requested to his manager that she not be allowed back there months before and specifically told the temp agency as well that he did not want her back in his kitchen. She found out and he got on to her one day about texting yet again and she threatened him that’s she’s a witch and not to mess with her. She left early that day. The next day that he was in, he was fired. I’m trying to understand why this is ok? Why is it that someone can accuse you of doing something that you didn’t do and you lose everything because of that? I’ll be honest when I say I make about $30,000 a year and I’m struggling to support our family right now without him working. The culinary industry this past year has been terrible and he has been unable to find a job. Normally, he gets calls instantaneously to set up an interview and he’ll walk out the same day with a job. He has had absolutely no luck and now he’s in the process of trying to change careers. He’s about to start classes to be a real estate agent. While that may seem like a complete gamble to some, he has full confidence that he will truly succeed and I support him 100%. He has taken out an ad to promote doing personal chef services that should be out within the next week and we’re trying with what money we have to promote on Facebook. It’s still just mind blowing to me that all this has had to happen in the first place. It’s crazy that you have a successful future ahead of you at a company that you love and it can be taken away from you in a heartbeat over someone’s lie. That woman has caused our family to suffer and stress for no reason.

At the same time, I’m struggling to deal with my job. While it’s stable, I’ve worked 3 years straight without any vacation. They literally don’t allow us to use our time off. Back in November, I requested a week off in April. My boss has been ignoring every reminder that I have given her about this and I’m to the point where I’m almost livid. 6 months in advance should be enough time to request off from work. I need a break desperately, everyone there does. Even when we’re sick, we’re expected to be there. I’m burnt out and I’m starting to really be intolerable of all the angry patients that we get just because they chose not to take care of their teeth. It suddenly becomes our fault that they’re hurting and that we can’t get them in sooner. I simply don’t care anymore. I’m tired of being yelled out on what seems to be a daily basis for stuff I have no control over. Doesn’t matter though, unfortunately I have to suck it up right?

I just need time to breathe, I need things to be ok. I’m the type of person that everything gets to me even when it shouldn’t and I bottle it up to the point where I have a complete breakdown. That’s been happening…a lot.

Two days ago I got some Chinese food and while I normally don’t buy into the fortune cookies, I received one that said “Remember three months from this date. Good things are in store for you.” I can’t help but feel optimistic about this. So June 1st, I’m counting down the days!

Much Needed Weekend

This weekend was literally one of the best weekends I’ve had in my entire life, yesterday in particular. Such a simple day but it made a huge impact and it was much needed. Got to enjoy a kid free weekend with a “date day” which we rarely have. So relaxing and I felt like it truly helped us reconnect and brought out the true love that we share for each other after everything that had happened. It had been so long since since I’ve felt that love and I never want to lose that. It was genuinely the perfect day.

Now the kids are back and I’m wishing I had a week straight to just have time for myself. They have been driving me insane haha. Not even a year and a half and my little boy is trying to jump off of chairs, couches, whatever he can find. I can’t sit down for more than a couple seconds before he’s into the next destructive, dangerous activity. Polar opposite of my daughter. It’s taking me way longer to write all this than I should :/

Aaralyn’s pageant is this weekend. Thank goodness for a short week because of that. I’m just not looking forward to driving to Dallas Friday morning and needing to be there at 8:30 just to check in. It’s not really that long of a drive, only like 30 minutes but that’s just too early for anything for me when it doesn’t involve work. It’s going to be a long day.

I’ll probably post sometime next Sunday about the results and how everything went but until then, have a great week everyone!

A Bumpy Road

I cannot even begin to express the hell that I have gone through the past few weeks and I’m just now to a point where I’m somewhat settled and have really comprehended everything that has happened. Colorado fell through for a start and so did getting a rental house after applications were submitted and we were in the process of moving forward. My fiance walked out on us the night before we were suppose to move out of that house because of a fight due to the whole process. I thought that was the end and I had no choice but to find a place quickly. I’m now currently living in a 2 bedroom apartment with the two kids and my mom. Farthest thing from my ideal situation of getting a 4 bedroom house to rent. 3 days later, he wanted to come back and make things work. I agreed and he has since joined us in this apartment. Less than a week later I find out that he had been occasionally cheating on me for the past 6 months with an older woman who has 3 kids. 40 compared to me being 26. Bleh. Like for real? Thank god that wasn’t something that completely killed my self esteem. More of a laughing matter when I really think about it because that was a complete downgrade. Since that day, we have been trying to continue to work things out and my reasoning behind that is beyond words. I can’t even begin to express why I have made that decision because forgiving someone that would ever do that to me is that last possible thing I could ever imagine myself doing. It’s been rough but at the same time I feel like this has helped us be more open with each other and honest it’s just going to take some time to regain the trust. I won’t continue on about it. I feel like I shouldn’t even be sharing something so personal like that but part of me feels like I need to just vent and put these thoughts somewhere other than my mind.

My daughter’s pageant is coming up in literally 2 weeks and I’m not sure whether I should be nervous or excited. I want everything to go well after all the money that I’ve invested in this. It has made me completely broke and there’s still more to be paid on pageant day. I got her dress last week after having to get it altered because it was super long and it looks absolutely perfect now and I can’t wait to see her on stage with it. Just need to figure out what to do with her hair! I’m terrible when it comes to that but I don’t think I’ll have time to get it done between the mandatory rehearsals that day. It’s the little things that stress me out and I’ve seriously got to learn how to relax sometimes lol.

Other than that, my mom has purchased tickets for us to fly out to Disney World the weekend of my daughter’s 6th birthday. We’ll only be able to spend one day there unfortunately before having to fly back home at 6:00AM the next morning but it’s going to be a huge surprise for her. We aren’t planning on telling her until we get there. I’m just hoping that getting on a plane won’t ruin that secret haha. This will be her first flight as well as her daddy’s who is absolutely panicking by the way whereas I’m having flight withdraws because it’s been 8 years since I’ve last been on one and I’m seriously craving getting on a plane. Is that weird? ย This is the first vacation we’ve somewhat ever had as a family. I feel like a weekend trip to Galveston and spending one day in Colorado for a job interview last year doesn’t really count as a vacation. That’s all we’ve done the past 8 years we’ve been together. I know this isn’t much better since it’s still only one day but it’s something and I’m thankful to be able to do this for my daughter.

I think that’s about all that I’ve got going on for the moment. I’m hoping that next week will be better. People have been terrible these past few weeks on top of everything else that has been going on in my life. I’ve had too many breakdowns at work because people have been insanely rude which is mixing with my already sensitive emotions. I just can’t deal with it anymore. I’m beyond frustrated with people right now. I’m not welcoming negativity in my life. I’m past the point of continuing to do that.

Opportunities

In less than a week, the house we’re currently living in is closing and we will have three days afterwards to get out. We have no idea where we’re going at the moment which is an unsettling feeling for me. My fiance has decided again that we need to try and fulfill our dreams of moving out of the state.

Nearly a year ago, he spontaneously did the same thing. He received two interview calls and accepted one of them as a Sous Chef at an Italian restaurant. We both called out of work for 3 days to make the 12.5 hour drive to Denver. We took the little money that we saved up and spent one of those days driving there, the interview the following morning followed by squeezing in as much time as possible to enjoy what we could of the state. A couple hours definitely was not enough. And then the third day driving back home. The following day, he was offered the job making more than twice what he was currently making here in Texas. It was the hardest decision we ever had to make but he had to decline the offer. We came back from that trip completely broke after the gas we spent and the hotel. My credit card was already maxed out prior to the trip and we were struggling badly financially at the time. We didn’t have the means of even getting back up there or to afford a place to stay at. Every single day we regret it and we miss the life that is there.

Yesterday, 15 minutes after he applied to one place that seems to offer amazing opportunities, he received an email back to set up a Skype interview. Monday is the day and I hope and pray this will be what we’ve been waiting for. I’m so anxious between this and the timing of the house selling that I was barely able to sleep last night. I feel like so much is going on right now that I honestly can’t even comprehend it. I’m terrified of the idea of the “unknown.” Moving somewhere other than the next city and leaving my job scare me because of the uncertainty and what ifs. I know this is what we want and have been wanting for years. I’ve never been the type of person to be spontaneous but I desperately do want to be that person. Live life to the fullest and take chances. Fingers crossed that this interview goes well!

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National American Miss

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Aaralyn received her ribbon and certificate in the mail today for the National American Miss pageant! She will be competing in the pageant to become Miss Texas Princess and if she does win the title, she will get to compete in Nationals in California and she’ll get a day trip to DisneyLand which is something she is highly excited about!

I set up a Gofundme page for her since there is a sponsor fee of $550 to be in the actual pageant. If anyone would like to help, even if it’s $5, anything would be great! If any business chooses to donate, it is tax-deductible. Thank you! ๐Ÿ™‚

Proud Moment

A few weeks ago we received a letter in the mail for an open call for National American Miss. Just for the fun of it, we decided we’d take our daughter. Free pictures… Sure! Why not?? It was this past Sunday and we were there for about an hour and a half mainly listening to them talk about the pageant and how it is based off of building confidence. That is huge for me since it is something I honestly lack. Unlike other pageants that strictly base their judging on beauty, this one’s goal is for building strong, confident girls. She had a quick interview towards the end and we were told that we would receive an email to let us know if our child was selected as a finalist to compete for state title.

Today was the day that I’ve eagerly been waiting for to find out the results!

She made it!!!!

When she got home from school today, I told her the news and her face just lit up. She was so incredibly happy. Even though the pageant isn’t until July, we have already picked out her dress and ordered it. She is beyond determined to win because she really wants to go to Disneyland. Lol.