Pageant Update

It’s been a little longer than I anticipated on updating about the pageant. She lost. She had a major break down. And, I officially will never do that ever again. Her excitement about the whole thing had been slowly dwindling away but a month before the pageant, she was over it and by then I had invested way too much money to just back out. The finale was the hardest part to watch. As she went on stage, the girl that was called up before her was still standing center stage which confused Aaralyn so she started walking off the stage. She was hardly smiling and not looking at the judges. We left immediately after the winner was named and she had the biggest meltdown to which many of the previous year’s pageant winners came up to her and tried to make her feel better. It didn’t, she only cried more which started making me tear up. On top of that, it took nearly 45 minutes after the fact to even get back to our hotel room because the elevators were overwhelmed with people. That hotel was a complete joke but then again, I’m not the type of person that likes to spend money on extravagant things especially hotel rooms.

On the bright side, we’re officially at 3 weeks until Disney world and I can barely contain my excitement. I’ve almost slipped up a couple times in front of her but so far so good, the secret it still safe! I am absolutely determined to make the day that we will spend there the best day ever.

Meanwhile, we’re back to looking for a job in Colorado. We’re destined to make something happen but for now we’re just going to sit back and see what happens. Apply to any job that we can find and simply hope that one will come along like last time and it will all be worth it. This time, we will make it happen. We are so beyond desperate for a change, there’s no happiness living here. It’s nearly 100 degrees outside with humidity at like 60%. We haven’t had a “real” winter in like 3 years. I just can’t do it anymore. It’s too unbearable to even be outside, to walk to the car or into a store and I hate it because I love being outside and I feel trapped because of the weather here.

I must leave for work now unfortunately. Signing off for now! Happy Friday everyone!

Much Needed Weekend

This weekend was literally one of the best weekends I’ve had in my entire life, yesterday in particular. Such a simple day but it made a huge impact and it was much needed. Got to enjoy a kid free weekend with a “date day” which we rarely have. So relaxing and I felt like it truly helped us reconnect and brought out the true love that we share for each other after everything that had happened. It had been so long since since I’ve felt that love and I never want to lose that. It was genuinely the perfect day.

Now the kids are back and I’m wishing I had a week straight to just have time for myself. They have been driving me insane haha. Not even a year and a half and my little boy is trying to jump off of chairs, couches, whatever he can find. I can’t sit down for more than a couple seconds before he’s into the next destructive, dangerous activity. Polar opposite of my daughter. It’s taking me way longer to write all this than I should :/

Aaralyn’s pageant is this weekend. Thank goodness for a short week because of that. I’m just not looking forward to driving to Dallas Friday morning and needing to be there at 8:30 just to check in. It’s not really that long of a drive, only like 30 minutes but that’s just too early for anything for me when it doesn’t involve work. It’s going to be a long day.

I’ll probably post sometime next Sunday about the results and how everything went but until then, have a great week everyone!

Lies.

There is one thing that has truly ceased to amaze me lately and I can’t even begin to understand why it’s become more acceptable with people. Lying. Not just lying but pathological lying seems to be the new trend. What has our world come to is what I don’t understand. I feel like I can’t trust anyone which makes finding friends that I can genuinely talk to the hardest thing. Someone lies to you, you put your trust into someone else to give you the truth and they lie to you as well. At that point, who can you trust? It’s everyone I seem to meet too. I’m absolutely dumbfounded by this logic. I’m the most honest person that anyone will ever meet and if I try to even attempt to lie, everyone knows instantaneously. It kills me inside when people lie to me. Even simple things and the fact that people will lie to other people that they’ve just met to make themselves appear more successful than they truly are, I simply don’t understand. Why? That’s all I ever ask myself. Most people don’t have much reasoning behind it either. Well, they’re probably lying about that too. I miss the 90’s when people really seemed to care about each other, where people were actually friends and life was easier. Lying didn’t seem to be so rampant back then. I mean, I was a kid then but my god, kids then have it so much easier than they do now. Life was simpler. Now kids act like they’re 10 years older than they really are and they seem to lack any common sense or logic towards the simplest things. I feel like the world started to drastically change as soon as I graduated high school and everyone suddenly had a negative personality towards others. Maybe I’m just crazy but I’ve been having a hard time understanding humanity lately.

That’s my thought of the day. Happy 4th everyone!!

A Bumpy Road

I cannot even begin to express the hell that I have gone through the past few weeks and I’m just now to a point where I’m somewhat settled and have really comprehended everything that has happened. Colorado fell through for a start and so did getting a rental house after applications were submitted and we were in the process of moving forward. My fiance walked out on us the night before we were suppose to move out of that house because of a fight due to the whole process. I thought that was the end and I had no choice but to find a place quickly. I’m now currently living in a 2 bedroom apartment with the two kids and my mom. Farthest thing from my ideal situation of getting a 4 bedroom house to rent. 3 days later, he wanted to come back and make things work. I agreed and he has since joined us in this apartment. Less than a week later I find out that he had been occasionally cheating on me for the past 6 months with an older woman who has 3 kids. 40 compared to me being 26. Bleh. Like for real? Thank god that wasn’t something that completely killed my self esteem. More of a laughing matter when I really think about it because that was a complete downgrade. Since that day, we have been trying to continue to work things out and my reasoning behind that is beyond words. I can’t even begin to express why I have made that decision because forgiving someone that would ever do that to me is that last possible thing I could ever imagine myself doing. It’s been rough but at the same time I feel like this has helped us be more open with each other and honest it’s just going to take some time to regain the trust. I won’t continue on about it. I feel like I shouldn’t even be sharing something so personal like that but part of me feels like I need to just vent and put these thoughts somewhere other than my mind.

My daughter’s pageant is coming up in literally 2 weeks and I’m not sure whether I should be nervous or excited. I want everything to go well after all the money that I’ve invested in this. It has made me completely broke and there’s still more to be paid on pageant day. I got her dress last week after having to get it altered because it was super long and it looks absolutely perfect now and I can’t wait to see her on stage with it. Just need to figure out what to do with her hair! I’m terrible when it comes to that but I don’t think I’ll have time to get it done between the mandatory rehearsals that day. It’s the little things that stress me out and I’ve seriously got to learn how to relax sometimes lol.

Other than that, my mom has purchased tickets for us to fly out to Disney World the weekend of my daughter’s 6th birthday. We’ll only be able to spend one day there unfortunately before having to fly back home at 6:00AM the next morning but it’s going to be a huge surprise for her. We aren’t planning on telling her until we get there. I’m just hoping that getting on a plane won’t ruin that secret haha. This will be her first flight as well as her daddy’s who is absolutely panicking by the way whereas I’m having flight withdraws because it’s been 8 years since I’ve last been on one and I’m seriously craving getting on a plane. Is that weird? ┬áThis is the first vacation we’ve somewhat ever had as a family. I feel like a weekend trip to Galveston and spending one day in Colorado for a job interview last year doesn’t really count as a vacation. That’s all we’ve done the past 8 years we’ve been together. I know this isn’t much better since it’s still only one day but it’s something and I’m thankful to be able to do this for my daughter.

I think that’s about all that I’ve got going on for the moment. I’m hoping that next week will be better. People have been terrible these past few weeks on top of everything else that has been going on in my life. I’ve had too many breakdowns at work because people have been insanely rude which is mixing with my already sensitive emotions. I just can’t deal with it anymore. I’m beyond frustrated with people right now. I’m not welcoming negativity in my life. I’m past the point of continuing to do that.

It’s official

The house is sold. We have until Monday to be moved out completely before we have to start paying the new owners rent. We were able to check out one rental house after I got off work today and it definitely wasn’t as impressive as the pictures portrayed it. It was small and appeared to have lots of damages that you can clearly tell were poorly covered up. We have a few lined up for tomorrow that should be bigger that are the same price so I’m hoping for the best not that this is the option that I wanted to choose. Either way, because its the weekend we wouldn’t have any luck getting into a place so quickly anyway. My weekend will be spent packing most things up and hauling it all off to a storage unit. What fun!!

My fiance did follow up with the woman he did the skype interview with and she said that he should be contacted by the Executive Chef of the resort very soon. The suspense is absolutely killing me! I hope Monday brings some good news. Just need to get through this chaotic weekend first.

Less than 2 days

I woke up this morning to the realization that today is Wednesday and that we have 2 days until closing. The interview on Monday supposedly went well via Skype and his resume is being passed on so he can be interviewed by the person who will make the final decision. The woman he talked to told him that she believes he would be a great fit for the Sous Chef position there but may also be qualified for the Chef de Cuisine. I can’t even begin to explain how much we both want this because the opportunities with this company are beyond amazing. Unfortunately he hasn’t heard back yet from that guy and the woman did not mention when he was suppose to be contacting him so the stress has set in because of the closing date. He also received a message later that night from an Executive Chef from a place he interviewed with over a year ago asking if he could talk to him. My fiance responded to talk to him yesterday but he never got a call. I’m literally at a point where I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling really optimistic that something good is in store but when we’re about to be kicked out of the house, the timeline of all this couldn’t come at a worse time. I pray today will be the day that he gets the call. The last thing I want to do is get into a rental and then he gets the job in Colorado. Maybe I’m being too optimistic but I’m truly hoping for the best for our family. After all these years, he definitely deserves this.

Opportunities

In less than a week, the house we’re currently living in is closing and we will have three days afterwards to get out. We have no idea where we’re going at the moment which is an unsettling feeling for me. My fiance has decided again that we need to try and fulfill our dreams of moving out of the state.

Nearly a year ago, he spontaneously did the same thing. He received two interview calls and accepted one of them as a Sous Chef at an Italian restaurant. We both called out of work for 3 days to make the 12.5 hour drive to Denver. We took the little money that we saved up and spent one of those days driving there, the interview the following morning followed by squeezing in as much time as possible to enjoy what we could of the state. A couple hours definitely was not enough. And then the third day driving back home. The following day, he was offered the job making more than twice what he was currently making here in Texas. It was the hardest decision we ever had to make but he had to decline the offer. We came back from that trip completely broke after the gas we spent and the hotel. My credit card was already maxed out prior to the trip and we were struggling badly financially at the time. We didn’t have the means of even getting back up there or to afford a place to stay at. Every single day we regret it and we miss the life that is there.

Yesterday, 15 minutes after he applied to one place that seems to offer amazing opportunities, he received an email back to set up a Skype interview. Monday is the day and I hope and pray this will be what we’ve been waiting for. I’m so anxious between this and the timing of the house selling that I was barely able to sleep last night. I feel like so much is going on right now that I honestly can’t even comprehend it. I’m terrified of the idea of the “unknown.” Moving somewhere other than the next city and leaving my job scare me because of the uncertainty and what ifs. I know this is what we want and have been wanting for years. I’ve never been the type of person to be spontaneous but I desperately do want to be that person. Live life to the fullest and take chances. Fingers crossed that this interview goes well!